Fixing our Fifth Wheel

A little over two years ago, we bought a fifth wheel camper. It wasn’t expensive, it wasn’t new, and it certainly wasn’t perfect, but we managed to scrape all of our savings together and pay cash for it, so it’s ours.

Last winter, we got the nose and the roof fixed, which means I won’t get rained on in the middle of the night again this year. Awesome! We got it cheap because it had a wall missing in the back. We fixed that, too. The man did such a good job you can barely tell it needed to be repaired.

Then, came the wall border.

Unfortunately, the trailer came from the factory with a wall border along the wall at a height where you might see a chair rail in someone’s home. Do you think we could find a border to match?

No. Of course not.

Could we find a border that was even close?

No. Of course, we couldn’t.

Can we even find an easy-to-apply stick-on border? Do they even make that? They sure do! But do they make it in a design that I would like in the main room of my home away from home?

Nope. Unless, of course, I wanted Disney characters, hunting scenes, or something you’d find in a pub bathroom. Umm… no thanks.

Instead, we are compelled to purchase a pre-pasted wallpaper border and hang it ourselves.

Uh, oh.

After an exhaustive two days of deciding what our selection would be, we settled on an unobtrusive border with flowers and hummingbirds. It might match our curtains, or it might not. It’s difficult to tell when trying to hold the laptop up to the wall. Still, we liked it, so into the digital cart it went, and we waited. Ten days, we waited for the pretty hummingbird wallpaper border to arrive at our home.

Me: “The border is here!”

The man: “Great! Does it look as good as it did online?”

Me: “Yes.” Frowning. “I’m not sure this color is going to match the curtains, though.”

The man: “It’s too late now. We’ve already spent our budget on it.”

Me: “True.” Sigh.

The man: “What’s the matter now?”

Me: “I’m afraid to hang it.”

The man: “Why?” He looks at me as though I’ve lost my mind.

Actually, I think I lost it a while ago. I just haven’t given him the update.

Me: “Because I have this horrible feeling we’re going to be in here looking like Lucy and Ethel in that episode where they try to wallpaper Lucy’s bedroom and end up covering everything in wallpaper and glue.”

Does anyone remember seeing that old episode of I Love Lucy, where Lucy and Ethel hang the wallpaper in Lucy’s bedroom? If you haven’t, you should watch it. It might give you an idea of our first couple of attempts at hanging that damned border.

The man: “Who’s who?”

Me: “Well, it’s obvious that I’m Lucy.” I pointed to my hair. “Red hair. Duh.”

The man: “So I’m Ethel, huh?”

Me: “Well, you can’t be Ricky or Fred, neither of them would ever get up to this kind of mischief with Lucy. That’s strictly Ethel. Ethel.”

The man: “Well, if I’m Ethel, she’s going to do something right for a change.” He pulls out his tablet, taps on the screen for a few seconds and grins as he brings up a YouTube how-to video on hanging wallpaper border.

He’s so smart. He might drive me crazy with his tendency to over plan things sometimes, but for this project, his usually annoying habit really paid off.

We finished our border, and it looks great. Now I just need to finish making those curtains. I look at my daughter…

“Hey, Ethel!”